Insecurities: How Do They Affect You Living Your Best Life?

Ever noticed how after the first time you notice something, you start to notice it everywhere all the time? Like the first time you realized you liked a particular car or a certain style of dress and then after that, you begin to see that car or style all the time? Well, I do the same thing. Only I notice every single person who is overweight. Because being overweight is one of the biggest insecurities I have.

To be honest, I have a lot of insecurities. As a matter of fact, I feel like I’m the most insecure person I know. You can ask any of my friends. Whether I’m working on a project or deciding on changes to make in my personal life, I ask them what they think every step of the way. I am insecure about my skin, my clothing and everything else that is seen by the public. I am also easily intimidated about my intelligence. I have plenty of degrees (too many really) but will still exit a conversation for fear that I will be exposed as the least intelligent person in the room. Simply put, I care what people think about me. It may come as a surprise to people, but my biggest insecurity, my weight, has long been an obsession of mine. Somewhere along the line, I bought into the idea that being overweight, pleasantly plump, big- boned, thick…. Being fat was a limiting factor. That there were things that I couldn’t do because my scale didn’t show a certain number when I stepped on it. There were professions that I couldn’t make it in or people that I couldn’t engage simply because my dress size hadn’t been in the single digits since my age had been!

Now I know what you are thinking. How could I, a well- educated and accomplished therapist, podcaster and mental health website- running entrepreneur allow myself to be stifled by such a superficial thing? And the answer is this: because I am human and everyone has something that they are insecure about. The key is to not allow your insecurities to stop you from living the life that you want. That’s partially how I began to notice other overweight people. People with imperfect bodies, people like me, were everywhere! They were in movies and on stages, running business, giving speeches, writing books and blogs, owning whole nights on major TV networks and buying their OWN networks! They most certainly had insecurities, but those insecurities did not stop them from moving and every time I saw someone overweight doing the damn thang, I felt a sense of pride. I was all like, “Go ‘head now! Being all round and well- rounded. Get it!” Eventually, I was inspired to confront my own insecurities and learned to move toward my wildest dreams despite the fear that’s inside of me and with all of the nervousness about the outcome. My insecurities are here. Are they here to stay? I don’t know, but they do not rule me. They do not dictate my life. I will not put my life on hold because I worry about a few things. I can be successful in spite of my insecurities not fail because of them.

I can only imagine what insecurities you may have. You may struggle with your weight, your speech, your looks, your intelligence, lack of confidence or your finances but take my advice: instead of fighting against your insecurities, accept them and keep moving. Understand that insecurities are created in your mind. Does that mean others will not mention or notice the things you are worried about? NO. Absolutely not. Some people will see your flaws and judge you, others will see them and not care, and there will be those people that don’t notice them at all. The bottom line is it doesn’t matter because your insecurities are yours alone. You have to decide the role they will play in your life. So what will you do? Shrink because of them or win in spite of them.

Post Author: Eboni Harris

Eboni Harris is a relationship therapist and Founder/Editor-in-Chief of Room for Relations and host of Room for Relations: Sex and Relationship Podcast. Through her education she has learned the skills and techniques to help individuals and couple love better, stronger and longer. Through life she has learned that taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for you and the ones you love. Her goal is to help adults communicate with clarity and honesty, love with passion and intention and teach their offspring (little ones) the value of boundaries, compassion and trust.